Brian May: Queen legend not a very good person to live with amid depression struggle

Brian May addresses controversy over album promo

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Brian May, 74, has spoken on the difficulty of living as a depressive and divulged he is not a “person who is full of joy”, which can make it is difficult for those who live with him. The Queen legend said he does not get “jolly often” while opening up on his mental health struggle in a candid chat on the Fret Not podcast

He shared: “I’m not a person who is full of joy naturally, I have to really look for the joy and I suppose that is what being a depressive is.“

The star revealed his depression can make him not a “very good” person to reside with as he is often in a low mood.

He continued: “It’s always there and it’s always going to bite you if you let your guard down, because when you can’t see a future you can even contemplate enjoying… so I’m not a really good person to live with because I tend to be that way. 

“I don’t get jolly very easily, when I do get jolly it’s great, but it doesn’t happen very often,” he added.

Last Christmas the guitarist revealed the festive season was particularly hard for him, noting: “There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me.”

Brian wrote on Instagram: “I haven’t wanted to show my face because my face was grim.

“Depression, hopelessness, fear… I get engulfed. Is it logical?

“No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed? Yes.

“But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world.”

The guitarist said he was “wrenching” himself back into “normality” with “biking, stretching and hot and cold-showering”.

Speaking in 2011, Brian revealed he went into a “serious depression” after the death of Freddie Mercury and the collapse of their band in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

He told Daily Mail: “I regarded myself as completely sick. I was wounded and very much in pieces. I went into a serious depression – I was subsumed by feelings of loss. 

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“Being in a touring band puts your friends and family on hold. You’re focused on one thing: the band. 

“When that finishes you’re out on a limb. The band finished, so there was a terrible feeling of loss.

“The band was my family. We lost Freddie and my dad died at almost the same time. I didn’t want to love – I’d lost myself completely.”

The musician has not “slept much” since his home in London, where he lives with his wife Anita Dobson, was destroyed by overflowing sewage water caused by flash floods in the capital.

The Queen guitarist said he finds it hard to “let go of stuff easily” as he felt emotionally impacted by the incident.

The floods also ruined Brian’s old photo albums and family memorabilia leaving him distraught.

He shared: “The whole place was awash and covered with black slime. It’s disgusting. I know it’s not the end of the world. Nobody died. But I haven’t slept much since it happened.  

“I’m not a person who can let stuff go easily, so it’s maybe had a disproportionate emotional effect. It feels like I’m trying to grab hold of bits of my life that are being taken away,” he added to The Telegraph.

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