My mum is never there to help with the grandkids

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mum made it crystal clear that she had no intention of helping me out with childcare or even helping with occasional babysitting so that I could go back to work.

In fact she told me I was on my own.


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I am a 31-year-old single mum with two boys and she is 66.

She once said that if I was struggling, then I should put my children into care. I was so shocked by her callous attitude.

I do confide in my mum when I have problems, like most daughters do, but she always makes me feel 100 times worse after I have spoken to her.

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She isn’t a mother to offer emotional support or a helping hand in any way, shape or form.

She just makes me feel so low. How do I stop her bringing me down?

DEIDRE SAYS: Even as adults, we want our parents’ approval and help. Every time your mum puts you down, it feels like a rejection.

If you want to alter the dynamic with her, try changing the way you talk to her. My support pack on Standing Up For Yourself could help you do this.

But in the long term, letting go of the relationship – or at least keeping her at arm’s length – might be the best option.

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