DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with my boyfriend is very quick and it seems more like a chore for him – if we have sex at all.
I am 31 and my boyfriend is 39. We have been together for eight months but we haven’t had sex for the past six.
Even at the beginning, sex wasn’t a thing for us. We don’t even snog, just a quick peck and a cuddle.
Sex was never sensual or passionate. I find it strange that he doesn’t touch me intimately when I am naked in front of him or in the bath or changing.
He says his sex drive dipped ten years ago. It’s really started to affect my confidence. I don’t feel sexy or attractive and I miss sex and being passionate.
I also miss having that bond with someone. It’s so frustrating as I really fancy him and would love us to have a sex life. I may have to walk away.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is definitely not about you. Tell him he is a lovely guy but sex is part of a normal relationship for you.
What happened ten years ago? Does he need medical treatment or to see a counsellor?
People’s sex drives do vary but loving couples can often find a satisfactory compromise. My e-leaflet on Different Sex Drives explains how.
If he won’t even try, then you may have to accept that he isn’t right for you.
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