DESPERATE Russian men are rushing to get married as they frantically try to avoid getting conscripted for Putin's bloody war.
Deadbeat dads who abandoned their children are also attempting to reconnect with their ex-lovers in the hopes that they will be spared being led to the slaughter in Ukraine.
Others are reportedly hurrying to sign themselves up as carers for elderly relatives they have previously neglected.
Russian men of fighting age are seeking to exploit loopholes that will stop them from getting sent to the frontline after Putin ordered the partial mobilisation of the country.
Up to 300,000 men may be signed up for the war, while figures of up to one million soldiers by next year have been floated.
Hundreds of thousands are trying to flee Russia, with queues of 24 to 30 hours reported at border crossings with Kazakhstan, Finland, and Georgia.
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Flights have also been disrupted, with fares for journeys on Russia's national airline Aeroflot going for up to £10,000.
Thousands of protesters have been arrested in Russia in outrage at the conscription order.
But there have been reports that some of the detained activists have been handed their conscription papers at the police station and rushed to the frontline anyway.
Meanwhile, Putin has threatened to nuke Western countries in a chilling address this week, as his response to the faltering war in Ukraine becomes ever more desperate.
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SibReal media reported that marriage register offices were "packed" in the Buryatia republic in eastern Russia.
One woman said: "Me and my men went first to Ulan-Ude, but the queue was far too long."
She added: "Everyone is getting married or applying to establish fatherhood, and children are getting registered to their fathers."
A journalist based in Tomsk said: "So instead of running away or protesting [about the war mobilisation] they are registering marriages…
"Words fail me."
Buryatia has seen the highest numbers of recruits to Putin's war, and university students in Ulan-Ude were filmed being frogmarched by police from their lecture theatres to a conscription office.
Instead of running away or protesting [about the war mobilisation] they are registering marriages
Another woman from Moscow said her friend, a single mum of five, was proposed to by one desperate would-be conscript.
"She laughed so hard when she told me about it, and said looks like she will be super popular in the near future," she said.
"It seems men with three or more children will not be mobilised."
Some women may have selfish reasons for wanting to get married as well.
Wives qualify for compensation if their husbands are killed in the war, unmarried partners do not.
Olga, 22, said she had a shotgun wedding to her long-term boyfriend on Thursday.
"If something happens [to him], there would otherwise have been no way to prove I was his partner and the child was his," she explained.
"Of course, I would have loved a big wedding, with our families celebrating, but I was so scared my husband would be taken [to the front] before we tied the knot that we decided to rush.
"They haven’t knocked at our door yet, only to our neighbours, but I fear it is only a matter of time."
Amid Putin's desperate scramble for new fighters for his doomed war, he has plundered some of Russia's worst penal colonies for fresh meat.
Those who go and fight in Ukraine for six months have been told they will be granted their freedom, but those who try and escape will be executed.
One of the fighters called up is an infamous cannibal killer Yegor Komarov.
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He was arrested after a headless body with multiple stab wounds fell out of a car and he later admitted he "nibbled to just take a taste".
He is now among those who have joined the notorious Wagner Group of mercenaries after the man believed to be its leader Yevgeny Prigozhin was filmed in prison recruiting inmates.
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